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America's Only E-Paper That Comes Out Every 5 or 11 Days!!Established April 17, 2001
 Bush, Wife, Hang Heads In Shame, Having Forgotten To Ask "What Would Jesus Do?" 
Weapons Inspector practices searching desert for chemical factory.  New York Times Runs Front Page Photo Of This Lady With Their Kentucky Derby Story; Connection To Horses And Breast Size Not Reported  Giant Sperm Heads Toward Unknown Galaxy; Eggs Not Yet Photographed But Future May Be Moot Say Hubble Scientists  Powell Applies Pressure To Sharon's Hand In An Effort To Improve "Path To Peace" In Mideast  Ancient Mayan Art Influenced By R. Crumb. Bold, buxom, zaftig Mayan art, recently discovered by archaeologists, revealed extraordinary similarities to the work of the legendary master cartoonist R. Crumb. "There is no doubt the Mayans learned a great deal from him," said Dr. Nate Furry. "No other conclusion is possible." |
 "Who Said 'Oy'?"  Georgians Practice Nuclear Attack Emergency Evacuation Drill The first in a series of evacuation drills to be held around the country was conducted on I-85 near Atlanta. FEMA Officials deemed the drill a success. "No one died from radiation," they said.  President Bush Studies Progress Of Clone Of Justice Antonin Scalia, Part Of His Shadow Government's "Build Your Own Supreme Court" Initiative.  "I've also got a shark's tooth, a 1964 Clete Boyer baseball card, The King James Version of The Koran, Allen Funt's 'Gags That Shaped The World', an autographed photo of Ray Stevens, Henry Ford's book 'Oil and Jews', and a signed album cover of Maria Muldaur's 'Midnight At The Oasis' in my desk. But I'm sure that peace proposal is in there somewhere."  Records of secret weapons shipments and files of stacks of speeches denying secret weapons shipments are moved from Arafat's office to the Jihad Duplicity Archive. |
 Queen of England celebrates Something and Famous Musicians play concert, making headlines around the world.  Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling Shows Off Surgically Sealed Lips, Demonstrating His Steadfast Conviction Not To Testify; The Surgery Will Also Prevent Him From Insisting He Doesn't Know Or Remember Anything  John Nash Works On Mideast Solution"  Individual ceremonies honoring slain military personnel like this one will not be available once the nuclear war starts, according to Special National Security Advisor Dr. Strangelove.  Two Afghani Movie Location Scouts Work On "We Were Soldiers, II, The 22-Year Battle Of Tora Bora", Starring Josh Hartnett, Lee Ann Rimes, Billy Bob Thornton, Halley Berry, and Ben Kingsley |