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BUSH SIGNS WAR MEMORIAL BILL;
Redesign Features Elements of Alamo and Plantation Architecture
 Washington, DC - (IGN) - President George W. "Dubya" Bush, a veteran of the Texas Air National Guard, signed into law today a bill authorizing the construction of the World War II War Memorial, to be located on the Mall in the nation's capitol.
     "Four score and seven years ago, this war had not taken place, and there was no need for this memorial. But it did and there is. We beat the damn Krauts and Japs. Let's remember that. With malice toward none," Bush said as he signed the bill.
     The bill was controversial from the outset, not because of the idea of honoring World War II veterans, but because of the design.
     "The initial design looked like something Albert Speer would've wrought," said architect Frank Lloyd, a veteran whose last name was shot off in the war.
     "Nein!" argued the designer, Martin Bormann. "I knew Albert Schpeer, und zis wast no Albert Schpeer," Bormann declared.
     Stung by criticism that it's initial reminded too many people of Nazi architecture, the redesign incorporated elements of American architecture, like the Alamo and the Ante Bellum South.
     "After all," drawled architect Mosby 'Stonewall' Beauregard, "y'all don' have no memorial for the Confederacy here, or for the Texicans who defend our country against the invadin' Mexicans, so we're fixin' to keerect that."
     Asked what Texas and the Confederacy have to do with a World War II memorial, Beauregard replied, "Everythin'. If the Confederacy had won, there wouldn'ta been no United States left to defeat the Krauts an' the Japs. I figure the South losin' was about the most patriotic gesture in our history. There ya go," he said.