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BUSH ADMIN LOOKS FOR REASON FOR WAR
Powell Suggests '88 Gassing of Kurds Was Reason
 Homeland HQ - (GNS)
- Members of the Bush Administration scrambled all week to discover the reason for the war they had just conducted in Iraq and for the plans they announced to request an additional $87 Billion from the American people.
     The scramble started when Vice President Cheney came out of hiding to announce that Hussein was behind the 9/11 attacks.
     Rumsfeld then said that wasn't exactly true.
     Condoleeza Rice said "Hey, wait, don't be dissin' Dick."
     Then the president said Hussein was not behind the 9/11 attacks, contradicting earlier statements that had lead the American people to believe he was.
     Then someone said it was Weapons of Mass Destruction, then Cheney said he had "misspoke" when he said Iraq had them and Rumsfeld reversed himself when he said two weeks before the war that he knew where the weapons of mass destruction were.
     As the administration scrambled to get its cover story straight, Secretary of Something Colin Powell suggested that the 1988 gassing of the Kurds by the Iraqis was the reason for the 2003 war.
     Iraq was an ally of the U.S. in 1988, as it was an enemy of Iran. At the time of the gassing, the U.S. registered a murmur, through diplomatic channels.
     Other administration officials followed Powell's lead, reaching back into history to find a reason for the recent war.
     Among those offered: Iraq's non-existence prior to its creation by the British; Iraq's lack of participation in Saudi Arabia's plans, whatever they are; Iraq's failure to maintain itself as a backward religious state; and various crimes against humanity committed by the Babylonians.
     King Nebachenezzer was unavailable for comment.