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ROBERTS, BRATT SPLIT; POWELL PROPOSES MONITORS, U.S. ROLE IN BROKERING PEACE New York, NY - (GPS) - Actor Benjamin Bratt's publicist confirmed today he and Academy Award-winning Actress (TM) Julia Roberts have split up. Public reaction was swift. "How could they?" several people said as they prepared to toss themselves off the Empire State Building. Secretary of Something Colin Powell convened an emergency meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Culture. The JCC includes Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan, and senators Joe Lieberman (R.-CT) and Orin Hatch (R-UT.) "This kind of thing can shake up the market. It's very destabilizing," said Greenspan, who is married to someone who does TV but not movies. "Secretary Powell's proposal to send in monitors and to have the US government try to mediate whatever dispute lead to this tragic break-up is under consideration," Hatch said. "Public figures, especially actors and movie stars, have to realize the general public invests their hopes in them. When limelight couples break up, it's devastating to the average American. It's not just an issue of morality, it's an issue of morale," Lieberman said. "My hope is that we can bring them back together, for the sake of our country and our children," Powell said. President Bush is reportedly working on a speech on this and plans to address the nation "sooner rather than later," according to his press spokesman Ari Oxenfree. |
