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"MACHINE GUN" RENO PONDERS BID FOR FLORDIA GOVERNOR & Gilbert Hurricane Fictional Times Correspondents Miami, FL - (GRN) - Cigar-smoking former Clinton Attorney General Janet "Machine Gun" Reno is rumored to be throwing her hat in the ring for the governorship of the state of Florida, allegedly vowing to "clean up this state". "People have said they'd be hard-pressed to find anything more inept or corrupt than the Justice Department during my tenure. Now, I think I've found it. The Florida electoral process," Reno was allegedly reported to have said when allegedly considering a campaign. The allegations of an extramarital affair by current Florida Governor Bush are said to have given Reno confidence that she can make a successful challenge for the office. "It would be highly unlikely that anyone would suspect me of having an extra-marital affair. Really. Have you seen me? Besides, I'm not even married," Reno allegedly declared. Reno deflected suggestions that the scandals, corruption, and outright idiocy that marked her reign as the nation's top law enforcement officer would have an effect on her electability. "Are you kidding? I'm the hero of Waco. And Gore is sure to endorse me after I protected his butt," Reno was said to have said, before she became philosophical. "Even if I lose, at least I can get some beauty tips from that fox who runs the election thing." |
