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CHENEY PROPOSES STRATEGIC REFRIGERATION INITIATIVE Big Bucks For Builders of Massive Cooling Units & Energy Generators Will Do Battle With Alleged Global Warming Billings, MT - (GNS) - Vice President and Acting Energy Czar Dick "Richard" Cheney proposed a Strategic Refrigeration Initiative to fight the alleged global warming threatening the United States and the rest of the world. "The time has come to reckon with this, and reckon we will," Cheney told a gathering of Energy Conglomerate CEOs and their chauffeurs and valets and personal assistants and nieces at a ranch outside of Billings. Cheney said huge refrigeration units could be built within two years, employing hundreds of thousands of Americans or millions of foreigners-- whichever was cheaper, and, at the flick of a switch, could cool the planet. "It's the same principal as leaving the freezer door open," Cheney explained, using a small refrigerator-freezer to demonstrate. "Close the door, the cool air stays inside, of no use to anyone except for the meats and vegetables, and they're already dead. Open the door... And the cool air travels throughout the room, throughout the environment-- which we're for, not against, and throughout the world and its atmosphere, cooling down everything, kicking the hell out of that evil global warming," he said. Cheney said each unit would be about the size of Rhode Island and would cost seventeen trillion dollars "without the lightbulb that goes on when you open the door. We figured we could work conservation into this and do without that light." Critics of the idea were speechless. |
