An independent product of Gary Gordon Productions
[Visit The Gary Gordon Band; Get info on Gary's CDs]
America's Only E-Paper That Comes Out Every 5 or 11 Days!!
TAKE ME TO The Fictional Times!
Established April 17, 2001

MAKE A DONATION
TO SUPPORT THE FICTIONAL TIMES!
Hi. If you like The Fictional Times,
please consider making a donation.
Thanks.
--Gary Gordon, Publisher, Editor, Stuff

NEW PRE-FABRICATED NUKE PLANT SET TO GO ON LINE
Lincoln, NE - (GNS) - The nation's first pre-fabricated nuclear plant will go on line this week in Lincoln, Nebraska, according to Energy Department Secretary Spencer Abraham, after construction started only two weeks ago.
     "This administration is prepared to move quickly to produce the power necessary to increase profits for wealthy corporations and their CEOs in the event Congress fails to implement to the fullest extent of the law the tax breaks and refunds necessary to increase that wealth," Abraham said.
     "This is a win-win for everyone. The folks at GE and Westinghouse and Bechtel make money, and the electrical consumer gets cheap, clean, efficient, low-cost, mildly polluting, slightly inefficient, moderately priced, fouled, jerry-rigged, over-priced, extremely dangerous, wholly inefficient energy," he said.
     The idea of a prefabricated nuclear plant first originated during the Reagan administration, said nuclear historian Eddie Teller.
     "They took a look at what Carter was doing with houses, the Humanitas thing, and thought, gee, maybe that could be applied to the needy folks in the nuclear industry who had been hit hard by people who prefer the power of the sun to good old American know-how," Teller said.
     Teller said the plans were available for years, but were ignored by the Clinton administration.
     "They even hired an intern to get the plans to him, but it didn't work," Teller said.
     Upon Bush's election, the plans were put on the fast-track.
     Critics of the plant pointed out Nebraska is not in an energy crunch.
     "Picky, picky, picky," said Undersecretary of Prefab Nuke Plants Pat Paulsen.
     The plant is expected to employ seventeen qualified people and thirty-eight hundred untrained workers, and will generate enough electricity when not off-line for repairs to power a university the size of Yale during an honorary degree ceremony.