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PAKISTANI DOCTOR JAILED FOR BLASPHEMY Scopes, Pakistan - (GIN) - A Pakistani doctor and teacher was jailed for saying the alleged prophet Muhammed was not circumcised. Dr. Younus Shaikh is accused by the government of Pakistan of blasphemy, a crime punishable by death. Students and clerics were set to burn him alive when they discovered government documents allowing murderous, uncivilized, idiotic, narrowminded, and unenlightened behavior were missing. "Oh sure, he is in jail now," said Muhammed Walawala, "but once we find those documents, we will execute him." Dr. Shaikh told his class in physiology that the alleged prophet Muhammed would not have been circumcised, because that was not a practice when Muhammed was born. World protest has been swift but uneven. "It's not right they jail him for blasphemy," said a Vatican spokesperson. "That's our job." "If everyone was a Christian, this would not be happening," declared Gary Bauer, Christian Without Porfolio, to an audience of Irish Protestants and Catholics at Bob Dublin University. "Yer so right!" the audience responded as they stood, sending the weapons in their laps clattering to the floor. Islam, the national religion of Pakistan, is incomprehensible to most Westerners. "Jeez, it's not like he burned a flag," said Wally Ferklumptenreich, a student at the Douglas MacArthur Flag & Bible College For Boys. "Besides, they oughta be glad he's not circumcised. Hell, you wouldn't want a Jew in charge, would you?" |
