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OPEC SCREWS WITH GAS PRICES
War Not Imminent Washington D.C. - (GNS) - Arabs meeting in palaces and tents voted to screw with oil prices yesterday. President Bush denounced the move. "No, hey, that's not right," he said. OPEC response to Bush's denunciation was swift. "Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it?" they said. "Um, I don't know," was Bush's stinging reply whcih resounded throughout the Free World. Bush did not announce what could be done as a policy to move the United States from its dependence on foreign oil has been stalled since 1981. One advisor who suggested requiring cars and trucks to get better gas mileage was dismissed for suspicion of having sex without the benefit of marriage, or knowing someone who did. Another advisor who suggested massive amounts of Federal money be spent on R&D for electric or battery-driven cars, "the kind of money like what was spent on the space program" was dismissed for not having an intern who could become missing. Bush did declare Saddam Hussein was "still a menace". "Anyone who shoots at or interferes with our spy planes is a dangerous rogue nation that should bear the full consequences of their actions and experience the full brunt of our force, except China," he said. A Special Forces team was dispatched to Saudi Arabia, near the OPEC meeting, to find the line in the sand drawn by Bush's father, President George Bush, in 1991. But Bush said war was not "imminentable" which most observers took to mean war is not imminent. |
