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MISSISSIPPI RIVER DECLARED FUGITIVE, EVADES JAIL WHEN STOPPED FOR CITATION
Dubuque, IA - (AGP) - The Mississippi River ran a Stop Sign in Dubuque, Iowa yesterday and then evaded police who tried to take the river to jail. Under the new U.S. Supreme Court definition of the Fourth Amendment, jailing a suspect accused of a minor traffic offense is not unreasonable. Officers of the Dubuque police department said they observed the river running the Stop Sign and proceeded to give chase. "Our intent, initially, was just to give the river a traffic citation," said Office Fred Bullshit. "Then we remembered, we could jail the sucker. I shouted out 'You're goin' to jail', and the river just took off." Arrest warrants have now been issued for the river, which is believed to be headed south, toward St. Louis. |
