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LETTERMAN JOKE ANNOYS COLOMBIAN DRUG CARTEL New York, NY - (GNS) - Comedian and late night talk show host David Letterman's joke about Miss Colombia provoked the anger of the Colombian Drug Cartel (CDC) yesterday. CDC CEO Juan "Cokeman" Guiterrez fired off an angry letter to NBC president Milton Peacock, protesting the joke and demanding an apology. "The people of Colombia are very proud of our booming economy and are proud of Miss Colombia and her talent. The fact that Miss Colombia can swallow fifty packets of coke to smuggle into your country, with the help of the CIA and DEA, is an asset, a true talent, and should not be made fun of," the letter read in part. CIA Director In Charge of Drug Smuggling Elliot Abrams denied the Cokeman's charges. "I dare you to find those missing files," he said. General "Buck" Westmoreland, in charge of Making War To Cover Drug Smuggling Activity, also denied the Cokeman's allegations. "Our covert, undeclared war in Colombia is legitimate," he said. Peacock, worried certain television stars might lose their supply of the illegal but highly sought-after drug, demanded Letterman apologize. Letterman said he would apologize only if his spy plane was returned. Nobody could tell any longer if Letterman was joking or not. Letterman's ratings rose during this episode. But reports that he is in line for the U.N. Ambassadorship when the Senate rejects Negroponte "are exaggerated," said Letterman for President spokesperson Drew Barrymore. |
