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JEFFERSON DECLARES INDEPENDENCE; BALANCE OF POWER SHIFTS Washington, DC - (IGN) - In a move that has King George furious and will no doubt shift the balance of power in America, Thomas Jefferson declared his independence yesterday from the current ruling administration. "We hold these truths to be self-evident," Jefferson said as he went on to declare what was wrong with King George and his delegates. Jefferson said he felt more comfortable philosophically working with people like John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington and Tom Harkin than he did continuing his support for "George". "You ain't no king of mine," he said, quoting the line of the Old Woman in a Monty Python movie. Critics of his shift in loyalty did not hesitate to condemn him. "Jefferson? P-tuiee!" said House of Lords member Trenchmouth Lott. "King George is for education, and a tax cut. He's for working together. Jefferson is a traitor who is just miffed that he hasn't been given enough power." "Vermont? What the hell is Vermont?" asked King George. "George's stance on education favors the privileged, and his tax cut favors the wealthy, and his taxes go for overseas military expeditions of questionable value," declared Adams, one of the ranking spokesman of the Liberty Party. Jefferson has been asked by Adams and the rest of his "congress" to write a declaration of independence for all of them to sign. "What're they gonna do, take over?" King George laughed when he heard about the declaration. "Hah! My father created this empire, from Saudi Arabia to Taiwan, and I intend to perservere it," he said. |
