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IRAQ ANNOUNCES BENEFITS FOR MARTYRS PROGRAM Wellness Program, Death Leave Now Included in Coverages Mideast Correspondent - Just three months after becoming the first country to mandate benefits coverage for Religious Martyrs, regardless of citizenship or territory of residence -- a bold, unprecedented move that rocked the international insurance and bomb markets -- Iraq again took the lead last week, unilaterally expanding its package of offered benefits. Promotional mailers received by tens of thousands of Saudis and Palestinians this past week, outline the expanded benefits package they can expect to receive, simply by filling out an application form, and then blowing themselves up while standing near a few Jews. When asked about the choice of direct mail to target potential martyrs, Iraqi Insurance Minister Mohammed "Fast Mo" Haddad explained the rationale. "We considered using billboards featuring slogans that evoke revolutionary feelings, such as Martyrs 'R' Us, or perhaps We Buy Martyrs. But these would be too easy for our enemies to knock down," he said. "Tampering with the delivery of mail, however, is a criminal offense. Thus a direct mail campaign, while more costly, suits our needs perfectly. And I am pleased to report we are already flooded with so many applicants we shall have to begin including international travel benefits." |
