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HORSESHOES WILL REPLACE TIRES - FTC
Washington, D.C. - (GNS) - The Federal Trade Commission recalled all automobile tires yesterday and announced that from now on, horseshoes will be used instead. "They're better. They're made of iron, not some kind of weird rubber conglomeration alloy with who knows what contaminants in the mix, and when you get where you're going, you can also play a game of horseshoes," said Quint Asper, subcommittee chairman for the FTC's Horseshoes As Replacements For Tires Until Those Guys Get Their Act Together. Automakers, stunned by the failure of tires, the recalls and the mounting lawsuits, hailed the decision as a victory. "Sure, there are obstacles, but remember, we're not reinventing the wheel here," said Magnon Crow, a design consultant for Ford, General Motors, and the Roy Rogers Museum. The replacement plan, called The Replacement Plan by the subcommittee, will go into place immediately, Asper said. "Everyone should be driving cars with horseshoes by Christmas," Asper said. "If we succeed, we won't have to replace cars with sleighs." |
