The Fictional Times

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Established April 17, 2001

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FULL TEXT OF BUSH'S REMARKS
- "I am not an isolationist. And this is a tragedy. But police officers are a tragedy too. Their hurts, their being hurt. We care about the poor. They don't. So let's try to agree, even thought they're wrong. The poor need a missile shield, not an ozone layer. Putin agrees. Ask him. And if you ask me, does the Pope eat dinner, the answer is yes."

- "Mes amis, comment allez-vous? Kyoto et plus raison d'etre. Mais non arc du triumph pour en missile shield. Sacre bleu! Maintenant, les gendarme d'Italia es commedia del arte. C'est tragic. C'est domage. C'est si bon. Je suis unconsolable. Descarte dit royale. Certainment.

- "I say, it is bloody difficult to try to walk the line between the European Union and those rascals in America with all the money and know-how, especially when Japan chooses them over us. I am attempting to be the moderate here, offering precise, unruffled ideas while the Germans talk unity and the Americans-- well, I cannot for the life of me really understand that Bush chap. Is education in America that bad?"

- "Nyet."

- "Yes."