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FLORIDA IMPLEMENTS VOICE VOTE TO REPLACE MACHINES Tallahassee, FL - (IGN) - Governor Jeb Bush and Secretary of Stolen Elections Katherine Harris announced Florida would implement the voice-vote system for its next election. "It's simple, and everyone knows how it works," Bush said. "Here's how it works," Harris explained. "The voter registrar in each county will ask 'How many are for Candidate X?' The people voting for Candidate X will say 'Aye'. Then the registrar will ask how many are for Candidate Y. Candidate Y's supporters will say 'Aye'. The registrar will then report who got more." Bush said this program would be easy and cost-effective. "There's no machinary to foul anything up." Opponents of the plan submitted an alternative, called The Satellite Photo Voting System. That plan would call for people supporting Candidate X to step outside for fifteen minutes at a prearranged time on election day. Anyone not supporting Candidate X would remain inside. The satellite would take a photo of the state. Then the supporters of Candidate X would step inside, and the supporters of Candidate Y would step outside to be photographed. The photos would be analyzed by CIA and NASA specialists and a winner would be announced. "It's much more reliable," said proponent Theordore "Telly" Hubble. "You get a clear winner, and a photo," he said. |
