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BUSH APPOINTS MUELLER TO HEAD FBI Rigorous Interview & Investigation Lead To Germanic Choice Modesto, CA - (GIN) - President Bush announced today that Robert Mueller, a Justice Department official with an untarnished and unblemished record that does not include spying on his own country, will be the new Director of the FBI. Mueller [Mule - Er], whose last name is Germanic, but who does not work for Germany or anyone else as a spy, said he was confident he could clean up the troubled agency. Bush said Mueller was thoroughly investigated. "We asked him several times if he was a spy for another country and each and every time he said no," Bush said. Bush suddenly turned to Mueller during the press conference and asked, "Are you an enemy spy?" Mueller said "No". "One time we even shined a bright light in his eye," Bush said. Mueller, like his predecessor Freeh, plans to travel extensively to enemy countries and troublespots that may or may not have spies within the Bureau, but has no plans to possess large, unaccounted for monies, he said. Senate confirmation hearings, at which he will be repeatedly asked if he is an enemy spy, will begin soon. Mueller is expected to deny spying for any other country, and plans to assume the position upon confirmation by the Senate. |
