An independent product of Gary Gordon Productions
[Visit The Gary Gordon Band; Get info on Gary's CDs]
America's Only E-Paper That Comes Out Every 5 or 11 Days!!
TAKE ME TO The Fictional Times!
Established April 17, 2001

MAKE A DONATION
TO SUPPORT THE FICTIONAL TIMES!
Hi. If you like The Fictional Times,
please consider making a donation.
Thanks.
--Gary Gordon, Publisher, Editor, Stuff

LAP DANCERS MISSING FROM F.B.I. HEADQUARTERS
Washington D.C. - (GNS) - An unknown number of lap dancers were discovered missing from F.B.I. headquarters, according to F.B.I. Lap Dancer Director Danni Ashe.
     "This is yet another embarassment," she said.
     The F.B.I. began using Lap Dancers when Hoover left the Bureau and everything deteriorated.
     Ashe said the exact number of Lap Dancers missing can't be known until the missing Lap Top Computers are found.
     "All our records are on those computers, along with some pretty entertaining photos," she said.
     Ashe said the policy of having Lap Dancers at the Bureau was formalized over the last ten years.
     "The brass took a look around at what happened to Packwood," she said, referring to the Senator who was driven from office for sexual harassment, "and at the whole 'older men with interns' thing and decided having Lap Dancers for the agents in the office made more sense than having interns or creating an environment for sexual harassment."