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CONDIT BUSTED FOR FASHION VIOLATIONS Washington, D.C. - (GIN) - Beleagured Congressman Gary Condit was arrested by Capitol Police yesterday for violating public sensibilities with his approach to fashion. Using the little known and rarely used D.C. Appearance & Etiquette laws, police gained an arrest warrant from Judge Kenneth Starr and moved rapidly to seize Condit. "This law is a legitimate part of the Form Over Substance Code, subsection 2, paragraph 3, subparagraph seventeen, small b, small double i," said Chief Tige Andrews. "We can't just have people in our capitol looking like they stepped out of 1981 or something, not when they're supposed to be official." Condit said the arraignment will take up time and keep him away from his various and numerous affairs and indiscretions. "I'm happy to cooperate with the police, but I like white collars on blue-stripped shirts," Condit said. Senate Minority Leader Trenchmouth Loot (R-MS), said Condit should resign. "I know he's from California an' all, but what he wears, that dog won't hunt. We got us a gov'mint to run," Loot said. Condit is expected to be released on his own recognizance as long as he promises to refrain from violating the dress code again. |
