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COMMISSION TO CONDEMN MUSIC INDUSTRY CONDEMNS MUSIC INDUSTRY
Washington D.C. - (GIN)
- Another fucking government commission, this time the Fucking Trade Commission, announced today that the fucking music industry was fucking responsible for screwing up kids by engaging in ordinary fucking capitalism in response to ordinary fucking demands of ordinary fucking stockholders and consumers.
     The fucking committee denied it wanted to fucking censor the fucking music industry, although fucking Senator Joe Lieberman (fucking D.- Conn) did announce he would propose some fucking regulatory legislation.
     The fucking committee declined to comment on the fucking connection between fucking violence in the fucking real world as a major fucking cause of violence and instead fucking concentrated on the fucking song lyrics as the fucking primary causal factor.
     "Police shootings and beatings that go unpunished, military bombings and accidents that go unpunished, light sentences for celebrities wielding guns and abusing women, these have nothing to do with influencing the behavior of young people," said FTC chair Cotton Mather. "It's the lyrics," he insisted.
     Fucking music industry leaders defended their fucking free speech rights and released a statement defending their fucking business decisions. "Congress shall make no fucking law abridging free fucking speech," the statement said in part.
     Lenny Bruce could not be reached to fucking comment.