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CNN LOBBIES TO INCREASE NUMBER OF HOURS IN A DAY Insists A 30-Hour-A-Day News Channel Is Necessary Atlanta, GA - (GNS) - On the verge of launching its "new look", CNN President Ted Rump was in Washington D.C. over the weekend, lobbying congressmen and senators in an effort to increase the number of hours in a day. "There's so much news, we need more time," Rump said. He said studies showed twenty-four hours was no longer enough to satisfy the American people. "Our research indicated the need already for a twenty-eight hour day, but by the time the government acts, that need will have accelerated, so we're asking for thirty now," he said. Several congressmen said they have heard in the past from their constituents that "there aren't enough hours in the day." But none was ready to commit yet. "If we had time to study the idea, we could probably move on it," said Congressman Donovan Bloviate (R.-XL). "But with medicare and the budget and education and stem cells, and all the speeches that have to be written and spoken and all the money there is to raise, there's no time," Bloviate said. |
