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CHINA DEMANDS U.S. ELECTION RECOUNT IN EXCHANGE FOR SPY PLANE Beijing, China -(GIP) - China announced today what it would take to get the spy plane back: a recount in the U.S. election. "It is clear President Bush does not want to be reasonable. It is also clear that there is a question of the legitimacy of his election. We would prefer a recount and the opportunity to negotiate with Gore, or Nader," Chinese diplomats told U.S. State Department officials. When asked why the Chinese believe Bush is being unreasonable, they responded, "The man is slashing funds for solar and renewable energy in the midst of your national energy crisis, he's rejected the Kyoto accords and launched a toxic attack on the world, and he wants to drill for oil in Alaska. Clearly he's insane and has no mandate for his actions." When asked who the hell they thought they were to criticize us, they responded, "We're not perfect, or the best, but we never claimed to be." State Department officials tried to explain to the Chinese delegation that American elections don't work like many European elections, where a president or prime minister can be unseated in mid-term. "That's not our problem," was the delegation's response. Sen. Joe Lieberman (D or R, Conn.) declared the Chinese were making a mistake to muddle in American politics. "Muddling in American politics is the job of the Democrats," he said. "Besides, the Chinese fail to understand that we may snipe at each other here at home, but when it comes to China, we're united... except for the differences of opinion about sweatshops and jailed Christians and Taiwan and potential for corporate markets and trade status-- besides that, we're united. We are." Bush spokesman Ari Wasperdoodle told the press, "This could mean the end of efforts for a U.S.-China baseball game." Dick Cheney could not be reached for comment. |
