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BUSH TO PUSH FOR LOWERING DRINKING AGE Austin, TX - (GPS) - President Bush announced today the drinking age should be eighteen. "It was a mistake for the great and powerful Ronald Reagan to insist it be raised, and to tie Federal highway funds to the issue," said Bush, referrring to Reagan's threat to withhold Federal highway funds to any state that did not raise the drinking age to twenty one. "Hell, I drank in college. Everyone drinks in college. We don't want to make outlaws of our children," he said. "We don't want them to be 'outlaws in the eyes of America," he added, quoting the Jefferson Airplane. The announcement of the new proposal comes on the heels of his two daughters, Jenna and the other one, being cited for willfully and knowingly puchasing or arranging for the purchase of alcohol while underage. "If the law was what it was fifteen years ago, what they did would've been legal," confirmed Secretary of Imbibation Anhauser Bush. "If you're old enough to fight and die in Vietnam, or wherever the heck our boys and girls are, then you're old enough to drink," said Bush. "Colombia," said Secretary of War Don Rummysfeld. "My dad's cool," said Jenna. When asked if this meant Bush might change his mind on marijuana and medical marijuana, Bush answered, "Yeah, right. Alcohol is fun, but drugs, whew, that's a whole other thing." "Colombia," said Secretary of War & Covert Smuggling Operations Don Rummysfeld. |
