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BUSH: "I AM NOT AN ISOLATIONIST!"
London, England - (GIN) - President Bush declared himself not an isolationist shortly after landing in England to meet with European leaders in Italy for a world trade summit.
     "Ich bin ein Londoner," Bush said to a hushed and stunned crowd, already suspicious of his abilities and philosophies.
     Informed that London is not in Italy, Bush said, "I knew that."
     Bush said it was first necessary to insult British Prime Minister Tony Blair "before heading to Geneva."
     "Genoa," corrected a reporter.
     "I knew that," said Bush
     Bush plans to convince world leaders to reject their views and embrace the unilateral positions he's taken in opposition to their positions.
     "I'm for clean air, but Kyoto is a place in Japan," said Bush, probably referring to the agreement endorsed by many world leaders that provides for clean air goals and timetables to prevent global warming.
     Bush also had strong, disparaging words for the protesters.
     "Anyone against free trade is no friend of the poor," he said. He did not elaborate on what historic forms his friendship of the poor has taken, not did he explain how the conglomeration of wealth and centralization of power equates to, is caused by, and results in free trade.
     Bush rejected Blair's offer to help smooth relations with several world leaders who are upset.
     "I think you'll find I'm culpable," Bush said. "I can representify my country without help from an inferior island nation that lost its empire over a century ago," he said.
     "He's a cowboy, right?" asked one Londoner of several of his pub-mates who had gathered to hear the President.
     "Bloody 'ell," replied one of his friends.
     Sources close to the President said they urged him not to define himself by what he is not, reminding him of President Nixon's declaration, "I am not a crook".
     Bush reportedly told advisors, "Well I can't go out there and say 'I'm not Nixon', and I sure as heck don't know what the opposite of isolationist is and even if I did, is that what I am?"
     Bush will leave tomorrow for Genoa, where he is expected.