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AMERICANS CLAMOR FOR HIGHER GAS PRICES Government Responds Quickly To Public's Demand Washington D.C. - (GIP) - Americans gathered at gas stations, houses of worship, ballfields and bars, rallying to support higher gasoline prices. And the Bush Administration declared they are working as hard as they can to ensure "prices that go through the roof," said Vice President & Energy Czar & Energy Corporation Stockholder Dick "Richard" Cheney. "High gas prices good," said President Bush, in his carefully-scripted four-word speech to the Veterans Of Oil Companies convention in Midland, Texas. "I'm so happy," gushed Martha Plodfungshway. "I've waited all my life to pay $2.50 a gallon, and I'm praying it goes up another dollar," she said. "What's good for the American-Arab Oil Interests is good for the U.S.A.," said Lyle Abner as he whipped his last few dollar bills out of his wallet to pay for gas. "I've heard stories of when gas was only twenty-five cents a gallon," said Timmy Glump, age 11. "But I've also heard stories about a time when America was actually commiting itself to alternative energy, solar power, conservation, and energy independence from foreign oil. I don't believe in fairy tales," he declared. Administration officials said it will be tough, but breaking out to $5 a gallon by July 4 is possible. |
